I just cannot think now.... everything is happening so fast and leaving my mind in a whirl...

I think I've cried till I cant cry already.... my mum thought I've gone mad... Just coughed out a bit of blood even...
I think I'm dying...

Flashbacks keep running through my head... I cant believe how things are unfolding....
I knew the friendship was on the rocks... but i didnt believe it was so bad till now...

I wonder what ordinary friends do... it feels so wierd to treat him like an ordinary friend now... when I've always been so concerned about him...

why... why must this kind of thing happen?..........

I cant think... its so hard to think... sobz...